Doubts galore.

I’m riding on the inspiration I’m deriving from the song A Thousand Years by Christian Perri, the song for the movie Twilight Saga: Breaking Dawn, a well-sung song, to blog.
Of course, you should listen to it. It’s a very very nice song.

Okay I apparently got quite annoyed that the rest of the original post was erased after that point. I was literally fuming because the original post was really quite good.
But never mind, I will try my best.

Anyway I recalled as the title suggests, that I have many doubts. I’ve been feeling troubled as of late. Yesterday was no different; I found myself close to breaking down at times. I have plenty of things which I have doubts over.
The one main thing I am certain though was my initial and still lingering doubt whether I still want to go ahead and fight for the sole Olympic spot in 2016.

I think lately this thought had been lingering because of my apparent unfitness and a worry that I will not be able to reproduce the form when I was in my prime back in the year 2010. That form was definitely the best form so far in my sailing career, a medal winning one, and a form I need in order to progress to the next level, of arming myself with a war chest of tactical tricks and then applying it to the main stage on my way to conquering that dream. That form is also what I will need to learn how to beat, at least for the moment, the Russians, Alexandre Nikolaev (2005 Masters Champion in the Radial including a number of top 3 positions in numerous Master Worlds)  and his son Maxim, a future star in the making. To demonstrate what I meant, I must train like they do, in which they train almost everyday. I mean it literally; without fail, I would find the Nikolaevs rigging up and then going out on the water, training. Despite the occasional self-questioning of how Maxim can sustain such a routine with studying, it nevertheless serves as a timely reminder that practice is of essence, and I must train almost everyday, for a few hours, to make up lost ground.

Right now it’s 4 days left to the year’s end. 4 days I need to decide whether I want to go all out in conquering the dream I had harboured all these years. Because I don’t want any doubts to hold me back as I go on the pursuit; when I go all out, I’m going to put all my energies, whatever I can spare at least till NS first towards the marathon to glory. Come the new year of 2012, without any doubts left, I will buy my boat and practise hard. Without hesitation I will start planning for my March training-cum-racing trip to Oman, working hard at Constant Wind to save up and train hard and also buying the air tickets to Oman no doubt, despite a concern over the release of my A Level results. That wont matter though, I can always circumvent that problem.
So this 4 days, I will think long and hard about it.

Another concern I’m having is over the relationships I’m having with my friends, but that one is still something I’m thinking about. Yup.

I’ve a headache, and I think I wanna go rest it. It’s pretty annoying that had the original post not have majority of its content deleted, I wouldn’t have to type a replacement which is not as impressive. Never mind that now.
Time to rest my headache. Good night all, I will blog again soon.